I spent a summer driving when I turned 20. I had a white Ford Explorer with a door that wouldn’t unlock. There was a dent in the hood and dog hair on the seats that wouldn’t seem to go away. It smelled like too much air fresheners and not enough gasoline. But I drove across state lines anyways.
I made new friends and spent evenings getting lost. I stumbled across this album while on my trip. It’s funny how certain songs can seal away a specific memory. Each and every time I hear this one, I think about driving alone in the Pacific Northwest. It wasn’t some magical sunset hour, more like 3:00 P.M. I wasn’t holding someones hand. I wasn’t heartbroken about anything. I was just a boy lost in some verses and a melancholy chorus.
Fast forward to summertime four years later. I have a different car now. One that doesn’t smell funny and has doors that work properly. But I still feel like that same boy, staring up at dusty ceiling fans and dreaming about growing up.
oh, and love is no illusion, sometimes i can see it in your eyes. and hear it moan and tumble, down the hill when the traffic dies.
(Important to note that no is an answer too. Just because God doesn’t give you a cookie doesn’t mean He didn’t hear you ask for one. And no, that does not mean He is about to give you a whole friggin cake. Maybe He will give you some damn broccoli. And you will eat it and like it.)
Life is hard when there’s such a divide and struggle between what you want and what you know is right. You think you learn all there is to surrendering and giving up and taking up your cross, but then you are confronted with the need to relearn it- I am relearning what taking up my cross means,…
“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it’s yours.”—Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged (via observando)